Roles Reversed

While Wesley has been a big brother for almost eight months now, it is really in the past two months that he has begun to learn what this really means.  For three years, he has listened to me teach Zach to be kind to him and share with him.  He has been the beneficiary many times when he screamed for a toy that Zach had and he wanted.  He often receives the benefit of the doubt while his big brother (unfairly at times) is held to a higher standard.  But now that Liam is becoming more mobile, Wesley is receiving a crash course in big brotherhood:

No, you may not take your brother's toys away from him, even if they look way more fun than the ones you are playing with.  Yes, you must share your toys with your brother if he crawls over and takes them from you.  Yes, you must give that toy back to your brother that you just took from him.  No, you may not hit your brother if he gets too close to your things.  In fact you may not hit him for any reason!  Yes, you must be gentle with your brother.  No, you may not step on him.  (Even if it's accidental, trust me, it still hurts!)

For the most part, Wesley is easily stepping into his new role.  He delights in his little brother, which is a joy to see.  When Liam comes into a room, Wesley's eyes light up and he comes up to him with a big smile.  He regularly runs over to his baby brother and starts laughing, encouraging Liam to laugh with him.  This is a favorite pastime of theirs.  As well, Wesley has learned how play peek-a-boo, and he is so proud of himself as he seeks to entertain Liam with his antics.  He covers his eyes and then says "boo" as he lifts his hands away.  He then immediately starts applauding himself and cheering for what a great job he's done.  And if Liam is not interested in his entertainment, Wesley scoots around so that he is directly in front of his face and then tries again.

My favorite thing, though, is listening to Wesley encourage Liam to speak.  Just from watching us, Wesley has picked up on the fact that Liam now says "dadada" and that Mommy and Daddy love to hear his sweet voice vocalizing.  So, often when Wesley sees his baby brother, he will run up to him and say "dada" with the hope that Liam will imitate him.  How this melts my Mommy heart as I see that Wesley is already his brother's biggest fan, modeling words and then cheering him on as he learns to speak.

Sharing is a bit more difficult, but I am very pleased with how well Wesley is making this transition.  He clearly understands when I explain to him that Liam is playing with "Liam's toys" and Wesley must not take them.  If he does take one, most of the time he is quick to return it when instructed to do so.  He also enjoys playing with Liam, which is a beautiful thing to see. What a joy it is to my heart to watch my two boys taking turns pulling rings off of a stacking toy or passing toys back and forth with smiles on their faces.

It is a bit harder for Wesley when Liam is playing with "Wesley's toys".  When asked to return one of these toys, Wesley usually does comply with our instructions, but he does so begrudgingly. We are still working on teaching him how to go and get another toy to trade with Liam.  So far this concepts seems a bit too abstract for him.  If Wesley has multiple toys on the floor, though, and is instructed to give a toy to his baby brother, he does a very good job of scanning the room and choosing one to give.  He often holds his favorite toys tightly while selecting a different toy to share with his brother.  For now, I am happy that he is choosing to share, even if the toys he shares are not his top favorites.  Since Liam is happy with whatever Wesley gives him right now, this is a great way to start learning what it means to share.  Over time, we will also have to learn how to share even our most treasured possessions.  Thankfully, we're not there yet!

Liam is blessed to have a big brother so desirous of entertaining and pleasing him.  Wesley is gentle and kind, patting his head when he cries and cheering him on as he learns new things. Wesley, on the other hand, has also been given the gift of a younger brother to teach him the things his older brother cannot and to delight in his friendship.  I often ask the Lord that these precious boys will become wonderful playmates.

I pray that my two boys, along with their older brother, will build strong friendships together that will stand the test of time.  A cord of three strands is not easily broken, and it is my prayer that the Lord will wind these three strands together into a tightly knit cord that remains strong over the years.