First Sentence

Dear Wesley,

Have I ever told you that the sound of your voice is music to my ears?  Whenever you babble and talk to yourself in the mirror, laughing at your own jokes, if you would turn and look, you would see me entering into these moments and smiling with you.  As you've started adding more consonants to your babbling, I often find myself pausing and taking mental pictures, trying to savor and remember these special times. I relish every conversation that you have with yourself, imagining that some day this will translate to similarly enthusiastic conversations with me and your brothers.

The other day I started counting and was surprised to realize that you can verbalize most of the sounds of the alphabet.  You still get stuck on the hard ones (j, l, q, r, v, x, y, z, sh, ch, th), but you've nailed the rest!  I know you get tired of working with me on imitating sounds every day, but when I am consistent, I am finding that remembering the motor plan required to imitate each letter is much easier for you.

I often wish that I could help you more with your struggles with motor planning.  As you watch me intently and then struggle to imitate my sounds, sometimes making a completely different sound and then throwing back your head in frustration, it breaks my heart.  How I wish that speaking wasn't so difficult for you.

A few months ago, Miss Judy started working with you to say "I want..."  At first I wanted to correct her - to remind her that you struggle with the motor plan for most sounds and the motor plan for putting sounds together to make words is almost impossible for you.  How could she possibly think that you could master the motor plan for putting multiple words together?  Instead, I held my tongue and just watched as she worked with you.  She came up with hand motions for you to do to help you remember what sounds to make.  At first you just watched her, but over time you started trying to imitate her.

About a month ago, you started pointing at your eye and opening your mouth when you wanted to say "I" and putting your hand over your mouth to say "want".  No sounds came out of your mouth, but it was a start.  Then about a week later, you started saying "ah" for I and "ah" for want along with doing the hand motions.  You still had to be prompted for each word individually, and sometimes it took several tries for you to get it, but you worked so very hard to learn these words.

Then last week the motor plan finally clicked in your mind.  You started running up to us and saying "ah" while pointing to your eye.  When we said "I", you would then say "wa" while putting your hand over your mouth and wait for us to say "want".  You would then grab our hand and drag us to show us what it was that you wanted.  We kept working on this and you soon realized that when you became upset and I asked you what you wanted, you could now answer my question instead of throwing a fit.  Then you added "ee" to your I and now say a beautiful "ahee" for I.  It is perfect!

This Wednesday you proved my initial assessment of your abilities wrong.  During a therapy session with Miss Marsha, you started yelling because she took away your favorite red stacking cup that you love to carry around while she is here.  She kindly asked you wanted, and you looked her straight in the eye and said "I wa(nt) cu(p)!"  There was no prompting or assistance. You knew what you wanted and you emphatically told her!

Mommy and Miss Marsha looked at each other, saying "Did you hear what I heard?  Did Wesley really just say "I want cup" with no assistance?"  You sure did!  You took that first step and are on your way to those conversations with Mommy that I often dream about.

Now you run around all day long saying "I want" and then dragging me to what it is that you would like to play with or see.  Coming with you to see what you want has become my full time job.  At first I was worried that this was giving you the opportunity to drag me around insisting that I give you whatever you want all day long.  But I am starting to realize that you just love your new ability to communicate with me.  Since this is the only thing you know how to say, you want to say it to me over and over again so that we can talk together.

So yes, Wesley, I will happily walk around with you and talk about what you want.  We can play with your ball-popper and your gears and get out multiple spoons and bowls from the drawers.  We can open doors and then close them again.  We can pull out milk and then put it back in the fridge.  And I will do my best to not complain, because guess what, YOU ARE TALKING!  And I love every word that you say.  I love the radiant joy in your eyes when you run up to me with a smile, point to your eye, and say "ahee wa dat!"  I love how you emphatically pat your chest as you say "dat".  I love holding your little pudgy hand as you drag me off to some new and exciting object that has caught your fancy.

Your voice is beautiful, my son, and it is my joy to talk with you.  I am thankful that you want things and that you want to tell me about it.

Love,
Mama