Griefs and Sorrows

I'm normally not a big fan of posting links, as I assume that most people have very little extra time to go read recommended articles or blog posts.  This week, though, I came across two posts that articulated very well some of the thoughts and feelings I have had over the past two years.  If you have a few extra moments, take the time to read them.  They are a wonderful picture into the thoughts of people who are suffering and how to walk alongside them.

When I first read Tricia's post, I wept.  Her sorrows and griefs are much different than mine, but she has a gift with words and has expressed beautifully what it means to weep and have sorrow, but yet, by God's grace, not be overcome.

As she stated so beautifully, I too weep for Wesley, for what has been taken, for what he doesn't yet know that he doesn't have.  I too hate the unwelcome anxiety, the deep sadness and the swallowing grief.  I too have felt every shade of sadness, but have not felt angry.  I have wished, with all my heart, for Wesley to be made whole, but I have never questioned God's sovereignty - or His goodness.  I grieve the injustice of the loss of the life he could have lived, but I do not believe God to be unjust or unfair.  At first it seemed unfathomable for me to get through each day, week, and month, much less the rest of my life (and Wesley's life). But, as Tricia says, by God's grace I have and I will continue to do so.  This is His gift to me.  By God's grace I am not overcome!

As a perfect follow-up, Molly Piper (John Piper's daughter-in-law) wrote an excellent post on what it looks like to walk with someone through the trenches of grief and suffering.  She encourages us, when we want to say "I can't imagine", to instead just try.  Take the time to imagine what it would be like if your child had a disability (or any other tragedy or heartbreak) - what it would be like to care for them and provide for their additional needs; the sorrows of watching them not develop at a "normal" rate; the grief as they are rejected by their peers; the anxieties as you look into the future 20 or 30 years down the road.  No, you won't imagine perfectly.  We can never imagine the full extent of someone else's grief.  But taking the time to imagine helps us to enter into the suffering of others and weep with those who weep.

From my own experience, those who have truly taken the time to imagine our sorrows have also been those who have most compassionately and graciously and lovingly walked through the past two years with our family.