All Must Mean All

"All the paths of the Lord are loving and faithful." Psalm 25:10

All does not mean "all - except the paths I am walking in now," or "nearly all - except this especially difficult and painful path."  All must mean all.

So, your path with its unexplained sorrow or turmoil, and mine with its sharp flints and briers - and both our paths, with their unexplained perplexity, their sheer mystery - they are His paths, on which He will show Himself loving and faithful. Nothing else; nothing less.

Amy Carmichael, You Are My Hiding Place, p. 98

McDonald's

Most parents would prefer that their children not eat at McDonald's (or any other fast food restaurant, for that matter).  I, on the other hand, cannot begin to tell you how OVERJOYED I was that Wesley actually ate lunch with us at McDonald's on Monday.  Due to a confluence of events, we left our house early that morning and didn't get home until nap time.  As I had not been expecting to do this, I did not plan ahead like I usually do and pack a lunch for Wesley that he would both be willing and able to eat.

As we pulled into the McDonald's parking lot for lunch, Zach and I took a minute to pray for God's mercy, that He would help Wesley to accept the food I offered him and not fight me with every bite.  Then we went in, with me thinking that if Wesley ate one or two bites of chicken nugget and one or two fries, I would count our lunch trip as a success.

Much to my surprise, Wesley INHALED his lunch!  The most amazing part of lunch was that Wesley accepted his food immediately when I offered it to him, whereas normally the first bite or two of something new is a huge fight.  And not only did he accept it, he WANTED it.  He dove for each bite of chicken nugget as I offered it to him, and he stuffed the fries into his mouth like they were candy (or in his case, goldfish, since he dislikes all things sweet).  I am sure Wesley would have eaten more, but I only offered him two chicken nuggets, as they took a lot of work for him to chew, and Zach and I were long done with our lunches by the time Wesley finished his.

As we left the restaurant, I walked out in amazement at God's provision for our family.  He could have let Wesley do his usual fighting, and he wouldn't have starved.  Wesley would have been hungry, but he would have been fine.  Instead, God chose to answer our prayers in a powerful and marvelous way.  He reminded me that nothing is too small to bring to His throne of grace.  He loves Wesley, and He cares for every tiny detail of Wesley's life.

Phoebe Has A Family!!!

 

Yes, it's true!  I have been crying tears of joy all morning.  Yesterday afternoon I went to the Reece's Rainbow website to look at Phoebe's sweet picture, and much to my surprise, I found a bio of the family who has committed to adopting her.

I cannot stop rejoicing in the Lord's kindness to Phoebe.  He has given her a family!

Just look at these lovely pictures of sweet Phoebe.  Soon this precious little girl will have a mommy and daddy to hold her and love her!  Please continue to pray for Phoebe and her new family, as they walk through the long process of adopting her.

It's Raining Again

After a very short season of no medical issues, it seems that possible issues which need to be checked out are adding up again.  Wesley visited a pediatric dentist a few weeks ago, where my concerns about his mouth were confirmed.  He inherited large teeth and a small mouth from his mother, and his case, his upper jaw is so small that there is no room for his remaining baby teeth to come in.  As kindly as he could, the dentist explained to me that the best case scenario would be for Wesley's cuspids to force their way down in whatever fashion they can manage.  If they are not able to make their way down in the next six months, we will need to have Wesley sedated so that X-rays can be taken to determine next steps.  From there, as long as his teeth are actually there, we are looking at oral surgery to pull his cuspids down so that his upper jaw continues to grow and make room (whatever room there will be) for his permanent teeth.  Right now, with everything else going on in our family, this news seems minor.  But we are well aware of how quickly it could turn into a big deal if these teeth do not come in on their own.  Please join us in praying that God would lay His hand on Wesley's mouth and guide these teeth down on their own without surgical intervention.

In addition to his teeth, we recently found out that there are also possible concerns with Wesley's heart.  During his EEG last month, Wesley's heart rate was dropping significantly during the night, to the point that it was setting off alarms.  Currently none of his doctors have any idea why this might be happening, so we are taking Wesley to see a pediatric cardiologist and praying that he would be able to quickly identify the issue.  Our hope is that this would not be a serious problem.  As well, we just learned that Wesley has a heart murmur. We know nothing more than this, but it leaves us wondering why we were not informed of this sooner and concerned that there might be more going on with Wesley's little heart that we are unaware of.

It is discouraging to realize that we may need to drag Wesley through more procedures and surgeries.  Our poor boy has been through so much already, and the thought of putting him through more tests makes my heart ache.

In the midst of all of this, though, we rejoice that Wesley's life is being upheld by the Lord.  As I read through Hebrews 1:1-4 today, I was again filled with awe that Jesus, Wesley's Savior and advocate before the throne of grace, is the same Jesus who created the world, is the very radiance and glory of God, and upholds the universe solely by the word of His power.  Jesus upholds all things - including Wesley's life - just by His powerful word.  What a comfort this is to me, as I am again freshly aware of how there is nothing that I can do to give my son life and health.  Instead of fearing what may be in store, I can rest in peace, for my trust is in Jesus, who loves Wesley so much that He gave His life for him.

Family Fun Outdoors

Last summer Wesley hated being outside.  He was just learning to walk and fell all the time on the uneven ground.  Then when he fell, he was unable stand back up unless he crawled to the nearest tree to assist him with pulling up.  Of course, with his luck, the nearest tree was always across the yard.  Needless to say, he was not very happy about how difficult it was to get around.

Zach insisted on riding in a baby swing so he could be next to Wesley

This summer, on the other hand, Wesley LOVES every moment he spends outside.  He amuses himself for hours coloring with sidewalk chalk, runs back and forth in our driveway squealing in delight while Zach rides his bicycle around our cul-de-sac, pulls out his stroller to request that we go for a walk, laughs boisterously as he splashes in the kiddie pool, and is thrilled every time we go to the park.  This spring has been delightful as we have watched Wesley explore outside and grow by leaps and bounds physically as he has tried new things, determined to master them.

Just last week we enjoyed a family trip to the park where Wesley showed off all his new skills to Daddy.  He can now climb the steps at the playground and then slide down small slides all by himself.  As well, he is learning to go up steps standing up and holding on to the rails instead of crawling.  His determination continues to amaze me.  He is willing to fall down again and again and still get up and try once more.

The park we visited also had a large hill, which Wesley surprised us by climbing to the top of.  I didn't think he would have the balance or the endurance to keep going - but he did it!

It is a joy to be able to go to parks this spring and enjoy our time as a family.  I have loved standing back and just watching our boys run around and play together.  We are looking forward to a wonderful summer outside as a family this year!

Daddy is watching the angry goose to make sure it doesn't attack his boys!

IEP

Today the future came crashing in on me at an alarming rate.  I was talking with Wesley's developmental therapist, and she confirmed with me that the day Wesley turns three, his services with Early Intervention will cease and he will immediately start attending school. He will also be eligible for summer school, which she highly recommended.  What a huge change is coming to our family in just ten short months.

But then, as I asked more questions, his therapist went on to explain in more detail the process we will go through to transition Wesley.  I almost fell over when she said that the initial paperwork for his first IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting will begin six months before he turns three.  This is just four months away!  It is unbelievable to me that in just four months, Mike and I will begin the process of making huge decisions as to what we are looking for the school district to provide for Wesley's education.  I never thought I would be discussing bussing options, school therapies, personal aides, and learning objectives for my two and a half year old.

Just the thought of sending my non-verbal child to school and allowing others to mold him and shape his world view brings me to tears.  Putting him on the bus in the morning and then not knowing what will happen to him fills me with fear.  Taking him off the bus and not being able to ask him how his day went, or what he learned, or if anyone was unkind to him - or worse, abusive toward him - terrifies me.

I often ask myself how it could possibly be that sending my sweet little boy to school would be God's best plan for his life.  Yet, I know that the school system can provide so much for him that we could never give him at home.  I have wept countless hours this past year as I have begged God for wisdom and pleaded for discernment.  I often fear that if we make the wrong decision regarding Wesley's education, we will bring long-lasting harm to him.

But really, this is just another opportunity for me to release my firm grip of Wesley's future and hand it to God.  The Lord is Wesley's protector, and the Lord is the one who upholds His life. How thankful I am that I can entrust my son to my faithful God, knowing that while I cannot be with Wesley every second of every day to protect him, his Heavenly Father will never leave him or forsake him - EVER!

I am comforted by the fact that as Mike and I pray through these huge decisions, we can trust God to guide our steps.  He has not left us to determine Wesley's future on our own. According to Isaiah 30:21, God says "And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left."  I am so thankful that as we plan Wesley's future, it is the Lord who is directing our steps.  And we can trust Him, for we know Him to be a good and faithful and loving God who will work Wesley's schooling for his good and for our good.

He Will Never Fail Me

"My grace is sufficient for thee." 2 Corinthians 12:9

"God's grace is illustrated and magnified in the poverty and trials of believers. Saints bear up under every discouragement, believing that all things work together for their good, and that out of apparent evils a real blessing shall ultimately spring--that their God will either work a deliverance for them speedily or most assuredly support them in the trouble, as long as He is pleased to keep them in it....He who would glorify his God must set his account upon meeting with many trials. No man can be illustrious before the Lord unless his conflicts be many. If then, yours be a much-tried path, rejoice in it, because you will the better show forth the all-sufficient grace of God. As for His failing you, never dream of it--hate the thought. The God who has been sufficient until now, should be trusted to the end." Charles Spurgeon, Morning & Evening, March 4, morning.