How Do We Find Refuge In God?

This post is part of a series.  Click on the following links to read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

God is always our refuge, whether we are aware of it or not.  What changes is whether our eyes are on the storms of this life or whether we set our eyes on him and see who He is, what He has done for us on the cross, and what He promises to give us for all of eternity.  The question is not whether or not God is our refuge.  For those of us who have trusted in Jesus as our Savior, God has already promised that He is.  Praise God, that will never change.  The question is whether or not we are taking advantage of it.

So, if God is our refuge, what does it look like to find our refuge in Him?

I have heard it said that we find our refuge from the Lord when we set aside time to get away from our lives and spend time with Him.  But I don't think that's what it looks like.  I don't just find my refuge in the Lord when I am in my closet praying before the sun rises and I step out to face the day on my own.  I find my refuge in the Lord when the three boys and I are at the doctor, no one has eaten lunch, everyone is missing their naps, the boys are all crying, and yet, I am not overwhelmed.  In that moment, God is giving me a peace that surpasses understanding.  In that moment, He is my refuge.  My circumstances have not changed.  He has not removed me from the hardships of life.  But He has answered my cry for help.  He is with me.  And He is protecting my heart from crumbling to a state of being overwhelmed, anxious, and angry at my children.

But God is also my refuge when I don't see it.

He is my refuge when one of my sons receives another heartbreaking diagnosis that leaves me feeling like a failure of a parent.

He is my refuge when I am paralyzed with fear for the life of my husband.

He is my refuge when we are facing two (possibly three) upcoming surgeries, are struggling to find childcare help, and I am faced with the possibility that I will be unable to care for my family for three weeks.

He is my refuge when we add four therapies a week to our already packed schedule.

He is my refuge when I'm weighed down with guilt because I am not faithfully working with my boys each day to reinforce things they work on at therapy.

He is my refuge when I stagger under the weight of my responsibilities.

He is my refuge as I work unceasingly to help Wesley play appropriately rather than stimming.

He is my refuge when I wallow in self-condemnation for all of the times I ignore Wesley's behavior so that I can have a moment of quiet and rest.

He is my refuge when I weep at the affects of disability on our family.

He is my refuge when the words of Psalm 22 echo the cries of my heart.  "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?  O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest."

As I cry out to the Lord with a broken heart, I read the words "In you our fathers trusted; they trusted and you delivered them.  To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame."  It is true.  The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.  In that moment, I may not have a tangible sense of God's presence, but I know I have a promise.  As I desperately clutch the promise, I cry out, "But you, O Lord, do not be far off!  O you my help, come quickly to my aid!  Deliver my soul from the sword."  And He will.  He has promised that whatever else may happen, He will deliver my soul.  "For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him."

So, as Psalm 46 instructs us to "Be still, and know that I am God," let us ask the Lord to still our anxious hearts.  Our fretting won't change our circumstances.  It will only leave us tattered and worn.  Instead, let us come to Jesus with our broken and heavy laden hearts and there find rest for our weary souls.  In the midst of the trials that we walk through, let us lay our burdens at His feet and find refuge under His wings.  He will not leave us or forsake us.

God is a refuge for our souls.  He is our very present help in trouble.

God Is A Refuge For Our Souls

This post is part of a series.  Click on the following links to read Part 1 and Part 2.

In Psalm 7:1-2, the psalmist cries out, "O Lord my God, in you do I take refuge; save me from all my pursuers and deliver me, lest like a lion they tear my soul apart, rending it in pieces with none to deliver."

Here we get a picture of what finding our refuge in the Lord looks like.  It does not mean that the storm ceases and we are delivered from all of the trials we are walking through.  It does not mean that a man fighting cancer will not still slowly and agonizingly die, eventually leaving his wife and kids behind.  It does not mean that a family will not still struggle to make ends meet.  It does not mean that a child with disabilities will not still walk through the struggles of this life for all of their days.  What it does mean is that when the storms of this life hit us, which they will, God will be our refuge by saving our souls from being torn apart.  He will deliver our souls from being destroyed by the storm.

If we go back and look at Psalm 46, we see that the psalmist is finding his refuge in God in the midst of present trouble.  The earth is giving way; the mountains are being moved into the heart of the sea; the waters are roaring and foaming; the mountains themselves are trembling.  But yet, in the midst of this, he gives us a picture of what it looks like within the refuge.  The psalmist has found refuge in the city of God, where there is a river whose streams make glad all those who are within the walls.  Because God is in the midst of the city (this refuge), it shall not be moved.  The nations are still raging outside the walls, and kingdoms are tottering.  Nothing has changed.  But within the walls of the city there is peace.  The people of God have found refuge.  There is peace in the souls of the residents of this city, not because their circumstances have changed.  They haven't.  These people have peace because the Lord of hosts is with them.  They have peace because God will help them when morning dawns.  Morning has not yet dawned.  The earth is still crumbling outside the walls of their refuge.  But God has given them peace within their souls as they cling to the promise that someday, after the trials are over, morning will dawn.  And God will help them when morning dawns.

At the end of Psalm 91, it says "Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name.  When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.  With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation."  So then, the promise of this Psalm is that one day, God will deliver us.  In the here and now, it can seem that finding our refuge in the Lord means nothing, for often our circumstances don't change.  We don't feel that the Lord has heard our cries for help and come to save us.  But if that is the case, then our perspective is wrong.  God's promises aren't just for today.  They are for all eternity.  While we may suffer for a little while here on this earth, one day, God will deliver us.  Because we know Him by name, He will protect our souls from being torn apart.  He will guard us from being destroyed by the fury of the storm.

Here on this earth, when we call to the Lord, He will answer us.  In the midst of our troubles, He is with us.  He will never leave us or forsake us.  And one day, when our lives here on earth are over, He will rescue us, once and for all, from the pains and sorrows and trials of this life, and will honor us forever as His precious children.  While the Lord does not necessarily promise to satisfy us with long life on earth, we will be fully satisfied in Him forever as He ultimately shows us His salvation.

Is God A Refuge From Suffering?

This post is part of a series.  Click on the following link to read Part 1.

The other day I was reading Psalm 91 again, which begins like this:  "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say to the Lord, 'My refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.'"  At the risk of sounding heretical, I would say that at first glance, almost every word in the Psalm following this statement appears to be untrue.

It says that "he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence", but we are not always delivered.  I have not been delivered.

It says that "a thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you."  But it has come near me.  The pestilence that stalks in darkness has found our family.  The destruction that wastes at noonday is wasting us away.

The psalmist says, "because you have made the Lord your dwelling place - the Most High, who is my refuge - no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent."  This simply is not true.  Evil does befall those who find their refuge in the Lord, and plagues not only come near their tents, but enter their homes and threaten to destroy their families.

So then, if God's Word is true, what do these verses mean?

Half way through Psalm 91, the psalmist says, "For he will command his angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways.  On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone."  In the beginning of Jesus' ministry, Satan used these very words to tempt Him.  His response should open our eyes to the fact that perhaps we are not understanding the true meaning of the words in this Psalm.  Jesus did not claim these words for Himself, calling thousands of angels to His side to protect Him from harm.  He could have.  Instead, His own life set an example for us of what it truly means to find our refuge in the Lord.

Jesus embraced the path of suffering.  His foot did strike against the stones.  In fact, his whole body was crushed as He was brutally murdered for sins He did not commit.  Even His own Father turned away from Him.

What then did it mean for Jesus to find refuge in God, His Father, as He suffered more than you or I ever will?

Is God Our Refuge?

According to Psalm 46, "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."

If this is true, then how do we answer the person who says that the term refuge needs to be more clearly defined, because either they were wrong their entire life about what they thought it meant, or they are an exception to the statement that God has always proven to be a refuge to those who turn to Him?

What does it look like for us to find the Lord to be our refuge even when everything is going wrong despite the fact that we are coming to Him (or at least were going to Him) for help?

What does it even mean that God is our refuge? What does this mean that He is or does for us in the midst of never ending trials where He seems to be showing that He is not good?

These questions have been on my heart lately, and I plan to write more about this topic in the coming weeks.

Questions and Answers

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, Wesley's verbal communication skills are suddenly exploding.  He regularly puts together two word phrases with ease.  This continues to amaze us as we know how difficult it is for him to put together the motor plan for this.  For example, just this week I handed him his baby burp cloth, which he loves to hold while sucking his thumb, and he started jabbering excitedly.  At first I just assumed he was babbling to himself, but eventually it dawned on me that he was talking to me!  I started listening, and he kept patting his burp cloth and saying "yellow burp!".  As soon as I responded with, "Yes, Wesley. That is your yellow burp.  Good job!", he gave me a huge smile and laughed.  He was so proud of himself for telling me this fact.  Likewise, I was proud of him for multiple reasons.  He noticed the color, identified it correctly, and named it verbally.  In addition, he put two words (three syllables) together to tell me what he had observed.  This is no small feat for my boy.

Wesley has also discovered a fun new game, which he calls "Rock Baby".  In an effort to entertain him one difficult evening, I took him in my arms and sang Rock-a-bye Baby, hanging him upside down and tickling him when the baby falls.  This has become a new favorite of his, and he regularly sits next to me, earnestly saying "Rock Baby" with a look of expectation in his eyes.  Whenever the game starts to get old to me (usually after the 10th time in a row singing it), I remember how beautiful the words "Rock Baby" are as they come from his lips, and I laugh with him as I sing it again.

Then a few days ago I had a conversation with my precious son that I never dreamed would be possible for years.  I asked him questions, and he answered them.  He didn't just smile at me in response.  He didn't repeat the last word of my question as he often does.  He didn't wait for my response so that he could imitate it.  He answered my questions with no prompting!  I cannot even begin to articulate how impossible this is for him.  But yet, he did it! God is at work in my little boy, and there is no denying it.  Mountains are moving in this little boy's life.

Our conversation began when I heard Liam screaming and ran into the room to discover Wesley hitting him. I quickly pulled Wesley away from his brother and looked him in the eye, saying "What did Wesley just do to Liam?"  Much to my surprise, Wesley responded, "Hit".  I then shook my head while asking, "Is it kind of Wesley to hit Liam?"  Wesley looked deeply into my eyes and said "no".  Then, fighting back tears of joy, I asked Wesley "What should Wesley say to Liam?"  When Wesley responded by looking toward Liam and saying "Sorry" with a mournful voice, it was almost more than I could believe.  As I drew my son close and hugged him, I was struck with awe as I saw how the Lord is working in his mind and his heart.

Wesley, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and your heavenly Father is performing wonderful works in you right now.  My soul knows it very well.  I don't know what His plan is for your life.  I don't know how long this amazing burst of growth will continue.  But I do know God has a perfect plan for your life, and He will fulfill his purpose for you.  And along the way, He is using you to show the radiance of His glory to all who are looking.

Friends

One of my greatest joys is watching my two little boys become friends.  Wesley rarely notices other children, and especially children smaller than he is, so I expected things to play out similarly at home.  Much to my surprise, Wesley not only notices his younger brother, but actually even likes him.

At snack time, Liam follows Wesley around the house, hoping he will share.  Usually at some point along the way, Wesley spills his snack and they sit down on the floor to share it together. It warms my heart to watch them smiling at each other as they sit next to one another and shovel snacks into their little mouths as fast as they can.  They must already be learning that the faster you eat, the more you get.

When Wesley wants to play the piano, he does everything in his power to coax Liam over to the piano to play with him.  Then once he's over there, Wesley calls me over to lift Liam onto the bench next to him so that they can sit together.  The boys love to play the piano together and will giggle and laugh as they play.  But Wesley also enjoys watching Liam play the piano and will often just sit next to him and watch him curiously as he bangs away.

I regularly hear Wesley and Liam giggling together in the car as they imitate each other and then crack up at each other's antics.  They have started doing this at home too, and it brings a smile to my face as I watch them following each other around downstairs and laughing together.

Wesley is so patient with Liam when he swoops in to knock over all of the bowling pins Wesley has painstakingly worked to line up on the carpet.  He just looks at him curiously and then joins in on the fun of knocking them over before starting all over again with the work of setting the pins upright.  I am often shocked by the number of things that Wesley permits Liam to do that would infuriate him if anyone else did them.

Of course, they fight together too.  Liam is very interested in Wesley's stacking cups and communication device, and this results in many quarrels between the two of them.  What this really means is that Liam's curiosity often results in his getting cups ripped out of his hands as he is pushed over by his big brother. I often run in to find Liam screaming as Wesley is quickly gathering all of his favorite toys back together.  But even this is a good thing. In giving Wesley a younger brother, God is giving him the opportunity to learn what it means to share and be kind to those around him in a way he would have never learned with just Zach.

As I watch this friendship blossom between my two little boys, I pray that God will continue to bless it.  I pray that they will grow up to always love each other and be close friends.  I pray this for all three of my boys.  May they be a cord of three strands that is not easily broken.

I Love You

Wesley's bus driver smiled at me as I stepped onto the bus, a twinkle in her eyes.

"I have the most exciting thing to tell you", she said.

"After you got off the bus this morning, as you were waving to Wesley, he said 'I love you!'"

My look must have said it all.  Are you sure you really heard him say that?

She smiled as she said, "You know how you say "I love you" to him each morning as you buckle him in?  Well, he said it back."

She's right.  Every morning I say each word to him and he repeats it back to me.  I.  Love.  You.

This morning it all clicked.  As I waved to him, he told me that he loved me.

I only wish I could have heard it with my own ears.