God's Perfect Plan - Part 1

It has been eleven months since the birth of our second son, Wesley David. These months have not been at all as we would have imagined them. When he was born, we were overjoyed that God had given us a healthy, beautiful boy. But, soon after he was born we began to suspect that things were not as they ought to be. He had a very weak suck, and after 3 weeks of trying to help him nurse, we had to give up and switch to bottles. Nursing was something that was very important to me, and I had to give it to the Lord, trusting that this was not part of his perfect plan for Wesley's life. Little did I know that this would just be the first of many times I would have to release my tight grasp of my dreams for Wesley's life and hand them to the Lord.

As well as struggling to eat and gain weight, Wesley also had difficulty breathing. After many doctor trips and visits to specialists, he was diagnosed with laryngomalacia, where the trachea is weak and falls down over the airway, blocking it and making it difficult to breathe. It seemed that every time we turned around, we identified new potential health problems and visited more specialists. When he was one month old, we decided it would be wise to put him through genetic testing to make sure everything was OK. What I was not prepared for was the phone call I received two weeks later from our doctor. When he informed me that Wesley had a rare chromosomal abnormality, the weight of it was overwhelming.

In that moment I began the fight for faith that I will continue to fight the rest of my life. The fight to trust that the Lord's plan for Wesley is perfect. The fight to believe that here, even in this, God is working for our good. He is working this for the good of Mike & I, he is working for the good of our family & our marriage, and he is even working this for Wesley's good. The Lord has been so kind to remind me again and again of the truth in Romans 8:32, which says “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” I continue to cling to this promise and the hope and peace it provides. Because God gave his own Son for me, providing for my greatest need, how can I not believe that he will provide for all of my other needs? How can I not believe that he will give me every good thing?