Our Faithful God

"And David said in his heart, I shall now perish one day by the hand of Saul."  1 Samuel 27:1

The thought of David's heart at this time was a false thought, because he certainly had no ground for thinking that God's anointing him by Samuel was intended to be left as an empty unmeaning act. On no one occasion had the Lord deserted His servant; he had been placed in perilous positions very often, but not one instance had occurred in which divine interposition had not delivered him. The trials to which he had been exposed had been varied; they had not assumed one form only, but many—yet in every case He who sent the trial had also graciously ordained a way of escape. David could not put his finger upon any entry in his diary, and say of it, "Here is evidence that the Lord will forsake me," for the entire tenor of his past life proved the very reverse. He should have argued from what God had done for him, that God would be his defender still. But is it not just in the same way that we doubt God's help? Is it not mistrust without a cause? Have we ever had the shadow of a reason to doubt our Father's goodness? Have not His lovingkindnesses been marvelous? Has He once failed to justify our trust? Ah, no! our God has not left us at any time. We have had dark nights, but the star of love has shone forth amid the blackness; we have been in stern conflicts, but over our head He has held aloft the shield of our defense. We have gone through many trials, but never to our detriment, always to our advantage; and the conclusion from our past experience is, that He who has been with us in six troubles, will not forsake us in the seventh. What we have known of our faithful God, proves that He will keep us to the end. Let us not, then, reason contrary to evidence.

Charles Spurgeon, Morning & Evening, October 17

This quote has been very helpful to my soul as we are beginning the process of transitioning Wesley to preschool.  Up until now, we have never had a shadow of a reason to doubt God's goodness toward us or toward Wesley.  His lovingkindnesses toward Wesley truly have been marvelous.  He has not once failed to justify our trust!  So now we can trust that He who has been faithful and has been with us up until now will not forsake us as Wesley heads off to school.  He will keep us to the end!

Remembering

About a year ago, when I brought Wesley in to see his GI specialist, I asked on a whim if he knew of a feeding therapist who might be able to help my sweet boy.  At the time, Wesley was only eating baby food, and we were desperate to find someone who could help him. Much to my surprise, Wesley's doctor DID have a therapist that he highly recommended.  He warned me, though, that it was unlikely that I would be able to get in to see her.

I called the clinic where she worked and found out that, as Wesley's doctor had thought, she had no openings.  But, she did still have availability for evaluations.  Since Wesley had just received an annual feeding evaluation with Early Intervention, we went ahead and set everything up for the evaluation to be billed to our private insurance (which, praise the Lord, covered feeding evaluations!)

During Wesley's evaluation, the feeding therapist commented multiple times on his struggles with swallowing and the many issues he had with his tongue movements.  She ruefully stated that it was too bad we hadn't come much sooner, since now it would be necessary to correct many things that could have been taught properly the first time.  As she finished up his evaluation, she told me that with a lot of work she could have him eating everything before he aged out of Early Intervention.  When I asked about her full schedule, she said that it was very important that these things be addressed right away, and that she wanted to personally take him on as a client and help him.

As we left her office, I was struck by two things - both the seriousness of the situation that she would be so quick to make a way to fit Wesley into her schedule and start seeing him immediately, and the fact that God had so wondrously provided for Wesley's needs even when we didn't think it was possible.

Fast forward to a year later, Wesley saw his GI specialist again this month.  Much to my surprise, he remembered our conversation from a year ago and asked about how Wesley was progressing with feeding.  As I recounted our story and thanked him for recommending this therapist, he expressed surprise both that Wesley was able to receive services from her and that his accomplishments with feeding were so significant.  I had to fight back tears as I so clearly saw the hand of God on Wesley's life, providing abundantly for him.  God has blessed Wesley with a wonderful GI specialist, who has not only treated him with great skill and wisdom over the past two and half years, but also took a personal interest in him and sought to help him with his feeding issues.  Then God provided us with a spectacular feeding therapist with a heart to help my struggling boy, whose skills He has used to do a radical work in Wesley.  The fact that Wesley is now able to eat most things and is accepting of new foods is truly a magnificent transformation.

I am so grateful for this reminder of how God is mightily at work in my little guy's life.  God truly does love Wesley and is faithful to provide for all of his needs.

"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds." Psalm 9:1

It's That Time of Year

It's football season again, and around here that means I hear lots of boys yelling "Go Patriots!"  Even Wesley enjoys watching the games.

The Works of God Displayed

The Sunday after I wrote this post, our pastor Tab Trainor preached an excellent follow-up message on John 9:1-7.  I have wanted to write a post on it since first hearing it but have struggled with how best to articulate my thoughts.  At this point, it seems most appropriate to start by explaining why it was particularly fitting and especially meaningful to me to hear this message preached by Tab.

Tab is a man who truly loves the people of God.  God has given him a heart for each and every person in the flock that he has been called to care for.  In fact, it would take multiple blog posts for me to mention the countless times that Tab has personally reached out to and lovingly cared for Mike and I over the past thirteen years.  He has been intimately acquainted with our struggles over the years and has faithfully walked alongside us through thick and thin.

Due to the growth of our church over the past five years, we had less contact with Tab and his family for a while.  So when Wesley was born, I was not expecting the extent of the care that we received from Tab.  Because of his affection for those in his care, Tab remembers what they are walking through and is faithful to follow-up.  For the past two-and-a-half years, I cannot remember a month where Tab did not find me at least one Sunday and ask how we were doing and how Wesley was doing.  And he never asks it as a perfunctory question.  He wants to know.  He wants to hear the details so that he can know how best to pray for and care for the people that he loves so much.  Many Sundays Tab has also laid hands on Wesley and prayed specifically for requests that we have shared.

While I know that most pastors love and pray for those in their congregations, I truly believe that God has given Tab a gift of grieving with those who grieve, lovingly caring for those who are walking through difficult seasons, encouraging the fainthearted, and helping the weak. Several years after Wesley's birth, while most people have moved on, Tab continues to regularly ask us specific questions about how we are doing and how he and our church can better walk alongside us.  He asks about Wesley's development, struggles, and successes.  But more importantly, he asks about how Zach is responding to the extra time we spend with Wesley.  He asks about how we are doing in our marriage.  He seeks to understand how disability might affect our family in ways that others might not be aware of.  He asks about our walks with the Lord - if we are trusting Him and believing His goodness and faithfulness toward us.  And then he asks how he personally and the church as a whole can better seek to serve our family.  Every time Mike and I interact with Tab, I sense God's pleasure as I see Tab's genuine love for Wesley, one of the least of these, and for the family to whom God has entrusted him.

So in August when Tab started his message by asking "How do I interpret my sufferings and hardships and difficulties?", I heard this question as coming from a man who deeply cares for those in his congregation and longs for each person in his flock to interpret their struggles through the lens of the cross.

Tab went on to say that what Jesus says in John 9:3 also applies to our own suffering.  Along with the blind man, we suffer that the works of God might also be displayed in us.

Tab reminded us that God does not want us enduring trials with a vague sense of condemnation, thinking that God must be displeased with us.  The God of the Bible is not a god of karma who is out to get us.  Our trials have a purpose - they are not meaningless.  For instead of having a god of karma, we have a God who loves us.  Does this mean that we will be healed?  Maybe, but not always.  God's works can also be displayed in sustaining us and transforming us through trials or refining and strengthening our faith.

Seeing this truth helps us to take our focus off of the why questions (Why Lord?  Why me?) and instead helps us to ask the how questions (How Lord do You want to be glorified and praised in this?  How do you want me to display Your work on this stage?  How is Your power made perfect in my weakness?)

But in order to do this, we need a Christ-centered trust.  Since Jesus Himself is well acquainted with suffering and grief, He can relate to all of our sufferings as a result of His own experience. It is trust in the suffering of Christ that can bring great comfort to the suffering saint.  Because God sent His own Son to take the punishment for our sins and suffer in our place, we can now trust that God will work out all of our circumstances for our good and His glory.

"Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast.  You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful."  James 5:11

Joyful Suffering for Jesus

He did not die to make this life easy for us or prosperous. He died to remove every obstacle to our everlasting joy in making much of him. And he calls us to follow him in his sufferings because this life of joyful suffering for Jesus’ sake (Matt. 5:12) shows that he is more valuable than all the earthly rewards that the world lives for (Matt. 13:44; 6:19-20). If you follow Jesus only because he makes life easy now, it will look to the world as though you really love what they love, and Jesus just happens to provide it for you. But if you suffer with Jesus in the pathway of love because he is your supreme treasure, then it will be apparent to the world that your heart is set on a different fortune than theirs. This is why Jesus demands that we deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow him.

John Piper, What Jesus Demands from the World, p. 71

All By Myself!

Today is a record breaking day at our house.  Wesley ate his breakfast and lunch ALL BY HIMSELF!!!  For breakfast he gobbled up Golden Grahams and half of a sliced banana.  (I say gobbled.  Actually, he painstakingly picked up each piece of food individually and took his sweet time finishing his breakfast.  I think it probably took him 45 minutes to eat.  Gobbled is only accurate in that he was attentive to his food and actively seeking to get it into his mouth the entire time.)  He even surprised me by doing his very best to use his pincer grasp when eating his banana.  Of course at times he had to fall back to the fist grab to get those slimy pieces into his mouth, but overall he did a fantastic job.

Then I decided to test his new found independence by giving him a lunch he could also feed himself - just to see if he would do it.  Sure enough, he happily fed himself a cut up hot dog, grapes, and pretzels.

I am aware that we still have a long way to go before we get a handle on using our utensils properly, but this is a HUGE step for Wesley.  Wesley has been an over-stuffer from the very beginning, and it is only in the past month that we have been able safely give him a bowl of crackers or pretzels without fearing that he would choke himself.  As well as over-stuffing when it comes to crackers, Wesley has also been uninterested in self-feeding anything else.  So for now, if Wesley wants to eat his meals one bite at a time using his fingers, I will happily oblige.

I must also state that this is a big answer to prayer.  I have been praying since we found out we were expecting another baby that Wesley would be willing and able to self-feed by the time the baby was born.  It seemed an overwhelming task to prepare meals for everyone and care for and nurse the baby while also feeding Wesley every single bite of every single meal.

Join me in thanking the Lord for doing a work in Wesley's body and mind, both enabling him to self-feed and giving him the desire to do so!  He has reminded me again today that He does hear each and every one of my prayers, and He answers them in His perfect timing.

The Perfect Snack

It looks like we've found the perfect snack.

Not only does Wesley love Goldfish, but he actually enjoys practicing his pincer grasp as he reaches into the bag and pulls out the fishies one at a time.

I am very impressed with his lack of greed.  He never comes out with a handful, preferring instead to concentrate carefully on getting just one.

Of course, this doesn't mean that he couldn't polish off an entire bag in one sitting.  In fact, given the opportunity, he'd be delighted!